It’s crazy how life has a way of working itself out. How can you find the answers in the midst of chaos? The answer is you don’t because you can’t. I’ve had my fair share of struggles through which I have learned life’s clichés aren’t just corny, they’re actually true.
Here are my favorite clichés:
“Sometimes something’s fall apart in order for other things to fall into place”, “Everything happens for a reason” and my own personal favorite, “stop getting mad at things you can’t control.” There’s a common theme among these clichés, it’s the notion that although you may not understand why you’re going through certain situations, you’re going to come out better because of it. There’s also a saying, “Never Say Never” I’m sure I can speak for us all, when we do indeed; say never because we think we have it all figured it. I used to be one of those people. Sadly, I thought I knew everything and I thought I knew myself. What I had to learn the hard way is you cannot know how you will react or cope in certain situations until you’re actually in them.
Growing up, I was that little girl who would always say, “I would never do that.” “I would never do this.” I WAS SO WRONG! Today, I’ve done everything I said I never would and probably more. I’ve always had a very strong vision of how my life should go. However, due to unforeseen circumstances I learned the hard way early on that many times things don’t always go according to plan. Learning to never say never humbled me and taught me extremely valuable life alerting lessons.
The first lesson I learned was Self-Empowerment.
I never thought I would be the girl to accept being cheated on, but when my first love cheated on me with everybody, including my best friend, I took him back. I never thought I would be able to trust men again, I never thought I would find love again and I never thought I would have friends that wouldn’t hurt me the way my friend did then. Through the pain and heartbreak, I rose. There’s a lesson to be learned here. During this time in my life, I learned self-respect and self-worth. Through this chaotic heartbreaking experience, I learned the type of friends to choose and the type of men to date. Life humbled me. Fast forward a few years later, and I’m open to love again and friendships. More importantly, now I know what I want and what I cannot accept when it comes to relationships with friends or with men.
The most important lesson I learned was Resilience.
I never thought I would fail until I did. I used to think I would graduate high school and attend UCLA, although life didn’t go that way at all. After graduation, I moved to San Francisco to study fashion marketing. In the midst of the recession during 2008 and among other financial hardships, I was forced to move back home, find a job and help my mom pay rent. I didn’t understand what my world had become. I never thought I would be the failure that had to drop out of college and move back home. I never thought I would go back to college, I never thought I would have a bachelor’s degree. This was a very long period of self-loathing. There were days I felt extremely hopeless for wanting just the bare minimum. Through years of hard work and focus, life works itself out. You see, I was accepted into UCLA, but I didn’t go there. I only applied after two years of community college as a 22 year old vs. an 18 year old. Today, I have 3 Associate degrees from my hometown community college and a bachelor of science in public relations from San Jose State University.
I’m not sharing my story as some self-inflicted victim or arrogant humble bragger, I’m sharing real stories of moments that defined me and shaped who I am today. I remember thinking how I would have everything figured out and here I am, almost 27 and I still have so much to learn. I encourage you all to live your best life, every moment of every day, because you never know what can happen. In life you must be able to practice resilience. You may be struggling or questioning your purpose on this earth and I want you to know, there’s a reason for your existence. Do not let trials or tribulations force you to give up. Trust me when I tell you, life has a way of humbling you, so never say never. You might surprise yourself.