For a large part of my life, I was convinced that I was an extrovert. I think that I am friendly (for the most part), have an approachable countenance, and I am great at initiating conversation. I love parties and social gatherings. I have been that way for pretty much all of my life but as I am getting older, I am starting to notice a few things about myself change.
Right after college, I realized that I valued alone time. I would become energized in the presence of company, but at times it would drain me. I believe I stumbled across the term ambivert via an article being shared on Facebook, but I immediately identified with it. Let me define what an ambivert is for all of my sisterfriends who may be unfamiliar with the word.
An ambivert is a person with a personality that has both extrovert and introvert features. This does not mean that I am bipolar people. However, it is all about balance. Now I am sure you are wondering, “How did I even know I was an ambivert?”
Not an introvert or extrovert? Maybe you're a mixture, which is common. You May Be An Ambivert… Click To Tweet
Too Much Socializing or Alone Time is Draining
I enjoy being outgoing on my own terms. I really enjoy social settings, but not for too long. If I spend too much time alone, I am drained. If I spend too much time around people, I am drained as well. My work personality is much calmer and reserved than the one my friends see. I tend to adjust my personality based on the energy I am receiving by the company that I am in. I can be really abrasive at times or asserting myself can take way too much energy.
Relationships Aren’t Traditional
Certain relationships would not work out because I would become exhausted from being around my boyfriend daily. Those type of relationships where we sit around each other all day are not for me. Some people think I never talk and some people can never get me to shut up. When it comes to trusting people, I can be very skeptical, but with others I can immediately dive right in. And as I get older, I cherish my solitude more. I know that when I start my own family, my alone time will begin to dwindle down.
Ambiversion Makes You More Self-Aware
Being an ambivert is all about stability. It relies on self-awareness, on knowing when to lean on either side of the extroversion/introversion spectrum. It requires me to know when I need to be alone even if I have to schedule it. I am sure most people fall under the ambivert personality. Once a person realizes where they fall on the extroversion/introversion spectrum, it can increase his/her self-awareness and gives great insight to what their preferences are.
This was definitely an interesting post to read as I feel like I could relate to a lot of the ambivert qualities. I definitnely veer more towards the way of being introvert, but I could have some ambivert qualities too. Thank you for sharing! 🙂
Heather Xx
100waysto30.co.uk
Thank you so much for reading! I definitely think there is a spectrum and it isn’t just a black and white thing. Im glad my blog could shed light to this!
A few years ago I realised this was me. In my twenties, I took a personality test and the result was ESFJ. I took it again a couple of years ago in my early thirties and the result was ISFJ. I had already begun to notice the differences, and this confirmed it for me. ISFJ personalities are actually known to be fairly equally balanced between being Introvert and Extrovert. As a result of the changes however, many of my friendship groups changed and some people close to me found it difficult, they thought something was wrong with me and couldn’t understand the changes, as what I enjoyed doing and how I behaved began to change a lot – this was partly what led me to retake the personality test. It was a great resource that I could then send to people and say – if you don’t get me, read this!
Some of the things you said that are exactly the same for me:
– I tend to adjust my personality based on the energy I am receiving by the company that I am in.
– Some people think I never talk and some people can never get me to shut up.
– When it comes to trusting people, I can be very skeptical, but with others I can immediately dive right in. And as I get older, I cherish my solitude more.
It’s really interesting and great that you’ve shared as I think it can be a part of adult transition that people go through but don’t necessarily understand.
yes! I am an ESFJ (how interesting!) as well. and it took me along time to figure out what was going on with me and i am glad i realized nothing was wrong with me at all! Thank you so much for reading my post! I am glad you enjoyed!
This makes so much sense! I’m so happy that I came across your article (via Twitter btw)
I was very shy as a child, and kept myself as a supposed introvert as I grew older, but I enjoyed (and enjoy) company, parties, gatherings, which has been very confusing it I’m supposedly an introvert. And yes, socialization has to be on my own terms because too much company and especially of the wrong kind of company is terribly draining and makes me want tons of alone time. And that alone time needs to be controlled as well. I relate a lot with the ambivert term and this is the first time I see it. It is a perfect explanation for me.
Thank you for bringing this to our attention.
im glad you came across my post via Twitter!!! For ambiverts it is all about balance! So it is good that you recognize you need company and alone time! Keep being aware of that and I think you will be alright!!!!
I relate so much to this post. Over the past few years, I’ve also realized I’m an ambivert. I really value and need alone time, even though I still enjoy spending time with others. I agree that awareness that you need alone time is so important.